As a follow-up to my recent article on the most popular pet names of 2011, I thought I’d share with you the weirdest ones.
According to a recent article, mega-insurer VPI searched its database of 485,000 insured pets and voted on the top 10 weirdest pet names. The results…
| Dogs | Cats |
| 1. Almost-A-Dog | 1. Ozzy Pawsbourne |
| 2. Franco Furter | 2. Mr. Meowgi |
| 3. Stinkie Mcstinkerson | 3. Murderface |
| 4. Sir Seamus McPoop | 4. Fuglee |
| 5. Audrey Shepburn | 5. Scruffernutter |
| 6. Dewey Decimell | 6. Corporal Cuddles |
| 7. Knuckles Capone | 7. Cat Masterson |
| 8. Beagle Lugosi | 8. Spam |
| 9. Shooter McLovin | 9. Tape W. Orm |
| 10. Uzi Duzi-Du | 10. Louisiana Purchase |
(Franco Furter is almost certainly a dachshund)
As I’ve said before, I prefer odd names for my foster dogs. Here are my best names and the stories behind them.
Bacon
This poor boy is so homely he’s cute. His original name was Homer, but we started calling him Bacon because that’s what he looks like: a slab of bacon.
Beauregard
This 15-year-old boy and his “wife” were dumped at the shelter by people who didn’t even share the doxies’ names. I wanted to name them Abelard and Eloise, but I settled for Beauregard instead. Although Eloise was very ill and passed on while in foster care, Beauregard was adopted and lived for three more years!
Garret
This rakish boy was found tied to a tree in front of a firehouse, so I named him Garret after Dennis Leary’s character in Rescue Me. Like his namesake, he was a womanizer and a rapscallion.
Albert Einstein
In addition to being whip-smart, Albert Einstein always looks slightly dorky and disheveled. Albert landed the best home, with a kind woman who supports animal-welfare causes and spoils him relentlessly. She is the director of a theater troupe and brings Albert onstage at the beginning of performances to show him off to the audience.
Nick & Simon
These year-old littermates were feral (yes, feral) dachshunds captured by a Good Samaritan. Because they were such wild boys, I named them Nick & Simon after the lead singers of Duran Duran, whose hit “Wild Boys” haunted me throughout the ’80s. It took a year to domesticate these dachshunds and place them, and I still miss them! They smelled like sunshine and fresh grass, and they always slept like in the picture above.
My girls tend to have old-fashioned names, like Hannah, Greta, Franny, Hazel and Matilda.
And then there’s Esmerelda…
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