Question: My live-in girlfriend of several years is bugging me to marry her. She uses the same tired arguments that all women of a certain age use — all her friends are getting married and having babies, she’s not getting any younger, we’re great together, etc.
I try to explain that monogamy is a myth. Animals in the wild don’t mate for life so why should humans? She says plenty of animals pair up for life, but I don’t believe her. And besides, none of those animals live where we live in New York. Will you please explain to her that monogamy is a myth and nothing more than a social construct?
Let me get this straight. Your logic is as follows: Animals don’t mate for life, and humans are animals, so therefore it is unnatural for humans to mate for life. What other animal characteristics do you have? Most creatures bathe rarely, don’t wear shoes and have sex only a few times a year during breeding season.
The only thing I am going to tell your girlfriend is to quit wasting her time on losers like you.
A List of Animals That Mate for Life
There are plenty of examples. Just to name a few:
Yes, swans make the list of animals that mate for life.
- Gibbon apes
- wolves
- termites
- coyotes
- barn owls
- beavers
- bald eagles
- golden eagles
- condors
- swans
- brolga cranes
- French angel fish
- sandhill cranes
- pigeons
- prions
- red-tailed hawks
- anglerfish
- ospreys
- prairie voles
- black vultures
Some animals, like the black vulture, will actually attack and sometimes kill an unfaithful member of their species.
One of those on the list of animals that mate for life actually lives in Brooklyn, New York. Brooklyn is home to a special breed of parrot, commonly referred to as Quaker Parrots. They arrived here from Argentina in the late 1960s and early ’70s, according to Brooklynparrot.com. You can learn all about these birds on the website and, if so inclined, go on a tour of the birds’ habitat. The free tours are led by an enthusiastic amateur ornithologist, Steve Baldwin.
Oh, and maybe you should learn that marriage and monogamy are not just for the birds before your girlfriend wises up and dumps you.
Photo: Photo: jgraham/Flickr
Update… Stop the presses! One professor who is an expert on animal behavior calls monogamy a myth. What do you think? Do some animals mate for life? Leave us a comment below.
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14 Comments So Far - Where Is Yours?
Ha ha! I love it. “Monogamy is a myth”, good for you to give it to him straight. That poor girl will waste years trying to change the that reject hoping she will eventually change his mind. If and when she does, she’ll realize what a mistake she made down the road with the guy.
That response to him couldn’t have been more perfect. He’s an idiot, and I hope he either changed or his girlfriend moved on.
I thought swallows were on that list?
I love your reply to that ignorant jerk; it was brilliant! Plus, the list of monogamous animals are really helpful.
In my opinion if you are in love with your girlfriend, you will do absolutely whatever it takes to be with her. When your love is that strong, that is how it works. I believe you are refering to marriages that are based on convenience. And that is why after a while they no longer make sense, therefore they fall appart. Most of the time anyway. Remember, this is just an opinion. I’m not any kind of expert.
Google anglerfish and I think you will agree that that is most definitely not monogamous.
I agree with Emily there. I liked your response to the guy asking the question. However, the anglerfish has more of a symbiotic relationship. The males attaches to the female. She uses him for mating purposes, while he feeds on her.
What about the penguin?
The girlfriend doesn’t sound very bright. If she’s trying to marry a guy that is saying monogamy is a myth… well, need I say more, really? That’s basically stating, “I’m going to cheat on you” or “I’m only going to stick around until I get bored with you.” Either way that’s not someone you want to have kids with. The guy sounds like an ass, but at least he’s being honest about it and not leading her on.
As is the American blue goose; who not only takes a mate for life, but if something happens to one of the mate, rarely, if at all, will take up with another. Also, the male allows the female to eat first to her fill, and ONLY when she has walked away from the food will he eat what is left over.
Another little tidbit of info: the male shares in the egg hatching and sits on the nest half of the time also, turning the eggs, etc. This info comes from raising this type breed for several years.
Here’s a thought… What would a human male of this caliber be worth on the female market today? :O)
Rose, that’s a terrific addition to this list. Thanks for the information!
It’s pretty cool the way so many birds pick a mate and keep it for life!
Although one thing to add, most Angelfish (not just French Angelfish) are monogamous! Not only that, but they also will protect their young, which is pretty unique to the fish world!
Macaws as well.
Not to burst your bubble, but Swans while having a form of a Monogamous relationships are known to fool around with other mates (particularly Females with other Males) when mating season comes around.
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